Monday, March 27, 2006

Down and Out

So the strike's finally over. Normally there'd be a big sigh of relief but ironically everyone's wishing they had one more week of strike to catch up on the homework we should've been doing in the past three weeks. To top it off, apparently they're not going to extend the school semester so everything's being squished. On the upside, already some of my profs have thrown out some of the readings and assignments we would've been doing.

Makes no real difference to me, I suppose. Either way, I'm going to be busy busy busy. Gonna have to juggle this new job (Mon-Thurs 4-8:30 and Saturday! *sob*) and school (5 more weeks of the semester is left!). It's gonna be hellish for me, especially this week.

I've already started off on a bad workday. I don't think I've ever felt more stupid than I did today. I was constantly advised on everything I was doing wrong and I wouldn't be surprised if there were many eye-rollings because of me making foolish mistakes. I don't mind the corrections, but I don't think I've received any compliments or encouragements (as shallow as that sounds, but I really need to know if I'm doing things right!) and it's making me question whether I'm doing anything right. I've never felt so bad about myself, I swear. After I finished the day, I just spent the whole train and bus ride home thinking about what a screw-up I am (it didn't help that my walkman batteries were dead so all I had were my thoughts).

I know I've only been there for a week, but for someone who's been there a week I should have everything down pat. At least that's what it seems like compared with the other girls who work there. They're more diligent, more intelligent, more organized, more competent. I feel soo retarded next to them and I'm sure they're not very happy with me not 'catching on' as quickly as they did because I'm probably slowing them down (and they've only been there for two months!). Basically I'm not feeling very good about myself. I'm especially not feeling so great about this job, although I really want to keep it because I want the experience and I need this job for my internship this summer. I have a fear that I will get fired within a month and that's just gonna make me wanna consider a career change and taking up smoking. *sigh.

Anyone else got any "bad training experiences" as a new employee? I could really use the stories.

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