Friday, June 09, 2006

The True Test to a Relationship?

I was listening to the radio the other day and I heard an ad for a company that provides lie detector test services. The premise of the ad was of a man who suspected his chick was cheating and his friend suggests he give her a lie detector test to settle his qualms.

Are they serious? Is this what we've come to? Is a lie-detector really the answer to a problem like that? I'm no relationship expert, but I'm sure if you suggest someone take a lie-detector test to see if they're cheating, it will open a can of worms. Just when I thought ridiculousness was merely reduced to the confines of talk shows and reality TV, ridiculousness walks amongst us and I'll be damned if someone ever asks me to take a lie-detector test. I could be spitting dead air here, seeing as I've never been in a seriously committed relationship before, but isn't trust one of the main fundamentals to making a relationship last? Or at least, happy? If you suspect someone is cheating, why are you wasting your time in staying when the real problem is not whether they cheated on you, but the fact that you even suspect it.

A friend told me that he was with his girlfriend for 5 years but their relationship seemed quite "dysfunctional". His chick didn't trust him at all and she was always suspicious of him and didn't even let him have female friends. He admitted he wasn't happy in his relationship but he stayed with her because "they were together for so long" and her parents loved him. He described to me every element that would culminate in me being unhappy in any relatinship: obligation with the hint of distrust. I can imagine this is an example of one of many relationships out there, where people stay in relationships for other reasons than trust and devotion. I will never comprehend why people stay in relationships like that. How can someone be thoroughly happy if they're always worrying about what their boyfriend's doing, or who their girlfriend is talking to? Is this a result of a lack of respect for themselves? There has to be a reason that someone would stop trusting someone. That, to me, would signify the end of it.

But then I thought, Is this what makes relationships interesting and not monotonous? Is this why people stay in 'bad' relationships? I was once read that people are actually addicted to the "pain and despair" that comes with relationships and that's why there's a lot of drama associated with stuff like that. Kinda like the pinch to let you know that it's real and it's there.

So what would life be like without all this? I suppose this is one thing that makes life interesting and without it, life would be dull and too 'ideal', right?

I'm not gonna shit on people who have had the honour of taking a lie-detector test: if you passed, great; if you didn't, you got owned. But whether you passed or failed, perhaps these lie-detector services should provide post-test conselling, because these things will provide nothing but bad results for the relationship.

1 comment:

Kathy said...

Lie detector tests have been proven to be horribly invalid. They measure things like heart/breath rate, moisture on the skin from sweating, etc. Just being nervous would screw you over.

Anyways, that's messed up...it makes me sad that couples would resort to that sort of thing.