Friday, January 27, 2006

Aw, I think they like me...

Wanna hear a funny joke I heard today? David Guest (Liza Minelli's ex) and Da Brat (the female rapper) are something of an item...

But far be it from me, as a single person, to criticize those who have lowered their standards in finding a date. Kudos, David, kudos. And while we're on the topic of divas, Liza, I heard Fiddy is single again. Double DATE!

And far be it from me to criticize other people's happiness. I just *smirk* like her shoes. ^_^ I'm remembering seeing her in Dem Franchise Boys' "I Think They Like Me (remix)" video with her pants at her ankles and questioning her sexuality. Confirmed.

Speaking of being liked, I'm not really one to care about it. Actually, that's a lie. Of course I care what people think. I care about what potential employers, my parents, people of higher status who have potential to be of use to me and sometimes, little kids who look up to me (not physically, of course >_<) think of me. Besides that, I can fall flat on my face in the middle of the street and forget about the embarassment 15 minutes later. However, despite all that, it annoys me when I'm disliked (by people who know me, not strangers) who don't like me for no particular reason. Or no obvious reason. No obvious, rational reason. My program consists of 90% girls, so with that, there's a whole lot of bitchyness, gossiping, backstabbing, catfights (not really) and a whack load of competitiveness and PMS for the four years I'm in the program. I'm currently in my third year and I've seen most of that list occur in and outside the classroom. I'm amazed at how females interact with each other. On a spectrum of getting along, you're either liked alot or not at all. None in the middle. I hate girls, I really do. In a male-dominated society, shouldn't we, women, band together and steal the good jobs away from the men? However, there is also the power struggle to steal all the good jobs from each other. Not all girls are like that, for example, me. I could care less if another chick gets a job we're both vying for if she is more qualified, not because she has sharper claws or a shorter skirt.

Over the years, I am finding this power struggle at school. And as we near graduation, it's only going to get worse. And there's a lot of chicks in my class who are very competitive and are seemingly the overachievers you knew in highschool who not only weren't modest about it, but probably made sure everyone knew it. They'll talk over you, they'll tell you they're right and you're wrong and they will make fun of you if you do make a mistake. These girls are out there and they're in my class. Now, normally these girls prey on their main competition (cuz why would they waste their time on the slackers?) and who they stand to lose against. Thus being, *I* am clearly not a likely candidate as a prey for these girls, right? Wrong.

This blog is not for slandering, so I won't name names. But the other day I experienced a little "hostility", if you will by this one chick. Let's call her, Betty. There's actually been other instances that was brought to my attention about Betty's attitude towards me but I didn't initially experience it so I disregarded it. But the other day, I did experience it. And as small as it was, it was an eye-opener. Basically she was supposed to hand out these assignment sheets out to the class and as she came around to me, she skipped me and kept right on going, even though I was sitting very close to the girl next to me and she got one, and the guy next to me got one as well. In other words, there's no way she couldn't have not seen me. What the hell? Apparently this has happened before towards me (and a couple friends closely associated with me), so it's clearly personal.

Let's get this clear: I have no hard feelings towards her despite all this. I'm not going to rant about her weight, gossip about how she dresses or even name her name. There's no reason to because it's pointless and I wasn't directly effected by this little habit of hers (because I could've easily gotten up to get another copy, copied from someone or someone could've just told me what the assignment was about) but I am astonished at how petty people can be. I can probably think of only one instance where she might have resented me (in a competition, we tied, which was a shocker because I would say I was the underdog) but that was a long time ago and fuck, it was just an assignment! Besides that, nada. I would say I've been nothing but nice to her, despite not talking to her a whole lot. So what the dilly-o?

I admit I am competitive, but usually in games and stuff like that. Resentment lasts until the game ends and then we go out for some pool or pho and it's all forgotten. I think I've come to terms with my disability to ever overachieve (learned THAT at an early age ^_^) so I've just learned to do just the best I can and whatever happens happens. I want to undrestand why overachievers strive to overachieve, and at what costs. Is it worth it in the end? Is what you've strived for and the people you had to knock down to get there amountable to happiness? I know it's only smart to strive for the best, but is it worth pissing people off and risking bad karma? Perhaps in 50 years I'll find Betty and ask her.

I suppose I could just confront her now and settle this, but I'm just going to leave it for now until it gets too far. In the meantime, I'm just going to continue to go on my merry way and just achieve.


minni said...

How is Betty an example of overachievers knocking others down in order to achieve? Deliberately passing you while handing out papers sure isn't a rung on the ladder to her success...just pettiness on her part. No?

minni said...

How is Betty an example of overachievers knocking others down in order to achieve? Deliberately passing you while handing out papers sure isn't a rung on the ladder to her success...just pettiness on her part. No?

spinderella said...

Well she's not "knocking me down"...yet. Merely deterring me or slowing me down. Yeah it is petty but that's what I was trying to say. Some ppl just take school too seriously.