Time heals all lonely wounds

It is 9: 53 pm and I am BAKING in this heat. Well, actually, there's no sun, so I guess I'm just poaching in this heat. It was yet another scorching, summer, humid day today. Definitely not a day for a walk in the park for seniors and those with lack of good functioning lungs. My boss asked me to run a couple bank errands, which required me to run to the bank across the street. Even though it's only a 3 minute walk, I was panting by the time I got to the bank. I can't believe how hot it is right now. Although I'm probably just saying that because I'm in my computer room and it's a perfect evening for a walk outside. My computer just died because it got overheated. o_o Compaqs suck.

So the other day, I was having a conversation with one of my girl friends. We talked about the usual: what's been going on with our lives, who's doing whom, the parties we've gone to, the trips we've taken, the people we plan to kill. Inevitably she asked me about my love life, as all girls bring this topic up one way or the other with each other...

Her: So are you seeing anyone?

Me: No, not really. Just dating around, nothing serious. Everything's casual.

Her: You need to get a boyfriend.

Me: Why do I 'need' to?

Her: Well, I just want you to be happy.

Whoa. Slap in the face! Well, it's more like a punch to the stomach and a kick to the groin and spit on my neck. I wasn't insulted by her comment, just a little taken back. Does being in a relationship essentially remedy unhappinness?

One of the annoying questions I'm constantly asked is, "Why don't you have a boyfriend?". I wasn't aware that a requisite to being a fabulous and fun, suburban 22 year-old, entailed a boyfriend. How come no one alerted me of this?

It is a popular notion (especially amongst girls, I've found), that to be in a relationship is a life fulfillment, the perfect accessory, and the answer to every "what to do on a Friday night" kinda question (these are the types of people who don't feel "comfortable" not being in a relationship). In these cases, to me, to be in those types of relationships are just a waste of time. Aren't they? I mean, they don't really last, and they end up being a life experience or worst mistake ever.

I once believed that it was OK for me to be perpetually single and just contend to a "hump 'em and dump 'em" lifestyle until I found someone that, a.) didn't piss me off too much and, b.) could put up with my neurosis long enough to maintain a meaningful more-than-friends relationship with me. So now with everyone around me, seemingly, in serious relationships on the brink of marriage and ever after, I'm starting to question whether the 'take it or leave it' chapter of my life is about to expire. It seems like I will soon have to learn to adapt to a certain mechanism of dating, one of which I don't fully understand how/why people behave the way they do (Why do guys go through phases where they're in a Mood? Why is it unacceptable for a man to look at another woman? etc., etc.).

So I guess what I'm trying to do here, is summarize and clarify questions surrounding my personal life and whatnot (because I think I need clarification for myself as well):

1. I am happy. At least I'm feeling content right now. I have great friends to spend my Friday nights with and my shoes are what I use to spoil myself with (because there's noone else to do that!). In essence, yes, I guess you could say I'm 'dating' my shoes. 9 years strong, I think it's getting serious.

2. I put myself out there. I've been typecast as some sort of anti-social, bitter, feminist, I think. It's simply not true. Refusing to see guys shorter than me, does not an anti-socialist make. It's just good sense!

3. I am not only attracted to Black guys. Geez.

4. Sex life. Don't worry about it.

5. I'm still trying to learn how to weed out the "bad" ones and especially the guys who seemingly seem Perfect, but are just as much of assholes as the ones who admit they're assholes.

6. I'm not one of those chicks who only go for guys who treat me like shit (as most girls do). Nice guys finish last in my book. Especially if they let me treat them like shit.

7. I have mostly male friends, not because I'm one of those flirtatious, hard-to-get, toying-with-your-mind kinda chicks. I just happen to not stand most chicks.

8. Yes, I say 'chicks'.

9. No, I'm not gay.

10. Lance Bass is gay, and I honestly didn't see that coming (totally irrelevant, but I figured there should be a #10 listing).

So there you have it, folks. This hopefully clears some questions and general wonderments of what you may have of me.

I suppose I could 'ease' up a bit, and be a bit more forgiving in allowing myself to get to know those obnoxious, stupid or "I'm a Loser" types and have a chuckle with mysef, but it's gonna take a lot of practice for me to get there.