I recently made a revelation about myself. It's not quite an epiphany but I sense I'm getting warmer.
I had lunch with a friend the other day and they said something to me that really made me think for the next two days.
"The problem with you, Lil, is that you're too ...fun."
"Well, I know. I am a pretty fun person to be with. But what's wrong with that?" I asked.
"The problem is no one takes you seriously. That's why you have problems getting into relationships."
Hmm. An interesting point. I never really thought a nonchalant lifestyle like mine (or as I try to make it) could have such a downfall. But then again, I can't remember a time I've ever said I never wanted to be in a relationship. I know I've said I never want get married, but is that the same as not wanting to be in a relationship? I guess most people see marriage as some sort of goal of a relationship. Hm.
I decided to cancel my big 'Birthday Weekend Extravaganza' at Niagara this year. Not only do I not want to spend hundreds of dollars on myself if I will most likely feel bittersweet about getting old, but I figured it'll also tone down my 'fun-ness', y/n? It's simple math: the degree of fun that I am is proportionate to the dysfunctional-ness in my life. The less fun I am, the less dysfunctional I will be. We'll see how this goes. 2008 can't possibly have more dysfunctional-ness in store for me.
It really sucks that I have to a.) realize that getting old means I have to tone down some of the things I love the most (aw MANNNNNN) and b.) have to deal with the surprising reactions to my canceling of the event. Sorry, peeps. SORRY!