Thursday, January 17, 2008

The 'Fun' in Dysfunctional

I recently made a revelation about myself. It's not quite an epiphany but I sense I'm getting warmer.

I had lunch with a friend the other day and they said something to me that really made me think for the next two days.

"The problem with you, Lil, is that you're too"

"Well, I know. I am a pretty fun person to be with. But what's wrong with that?" I asked.

"The problem is no one takes you seriously. That's why you have problems getting into relationships."

Hmm. An interesting point. I never really thought a nonchalant lifestyle like mine (or as I try to make it) could have such a downfall. But then again, I can't remember a time I've ever said I never wanted to be in a relationship. I know I've said I never want get married, but is that the same as not wanting to be in a relationship? I guess most people see marriage as some sort of goal of a relationship. Hm.

I decided to cancel my big 'Birthday Weekend Extravaganza' at Niagara this year. Not only do I not want to spend hundreds of dollars on myself if I will most likely feel bittersweet about getting old, but I figured it'll also tone down my 'fun-ness', y/n? It's simple math: the degree of fun that I am is proportionate to the dysfunctional-ness in my life. The less fun I am, the less dysfunctional I will be. We'll see how this goes. 2008 can't possibly have more dysfunctional-ness in store for me.

It really sucks that I have to a.) realize that getting old means I have to tone down some of the things I love the most (aw MANNNNNN) and b.) have to deal with the surprising reactions to my canceling of the event. Sorry, peeps. SORRY!

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