I may have done a couple of stupid things tonight, but I regret none.
Firstly, I went to a bar. I normally don't drink the night before I have to function (in this case, work), so I risked having to deal with a hangover the next day. Secondly, I walked home not sober, alone, at night, in the rain. To top it off, I even made a stop at the bank. Am I asking for trouble, or what? Thirdly, I lied to Vicki. I told her I would call her as soon as I got home. Actually I did call her when I got to my driveway, but I really felt like walking some more, so I kept going.
There is something about walking in the rain that is therapeutic. There's a reason people do it in movies and shit. The rain seems to wash away the cloudy thoughts and helps clear the mind. And it's easier to mask tears. Too bad it wasn't a thunderstorm. I've always wanted to be out in a thunderstorm. However, it just sucks to wear glasses and walk in the rain. It's like driving in a car with no windshield wipers.
I walked for a couple of blocks and stopped in front of P's house. I considered making The Call, but knew that I was in no mood to (nor do I think I will be for awhile), so I moved on.
The fourth thing I did today was make a call that was long overdue. I think I said as much as I could whilst a lil tipsy. The problem with me is that sober or not, it's always easier for me to get my thoughts on paper and in words. It's hard for me to say things as I think them. It is kinda like Nam when he thinks faster than he can get it out of his mouth (which results in the stuttering). I think this is why I usually have problems communicating my emotions. It's hard for me to put in verbal words, but very simple for me to put in written words or even actions. I guess this is one of those things I need to 'improve on'.
I'm just glad I tied up the loose ends I needed to. I didn't exactly say what I needed to say, but what needed to be said was said. I guess. Perhaps I'll write a letter. Or maybe not.
I was looking at Mel's bday pictures from a couple of nights ago. We went to Spring Rolls, then to West 50, then to Captains. And stuff happened in between. The pictures shall fill in the blanks. The evening was great and the pictures just remind me of how much I love everyone so much.