Tuesday, February 06, 2007

Another I-don't-get-you-women Rant

I need to put this out there, once and for all. I guess you can call this a Public Service Announcement because it is imperative that everyone know this from this day forward: Lil will be a good listener. She'll laugh with you. She'll cry with you. Fuck, she'll even spend ridiculous amounts of money with you. But if an opinion is asked of her, she will not sugarcoat and bullshit what you want to hear just to keep you happy. If you don't want her version of the truth, do not call her and ask what she thinks. If you don't want to be told otherwise, do not ask her for an opinion or advice (in fact, don't ask anyone in the legal profession: we're made of stone and we'll give it to you hard and fast). Above all, if you want her to be a good friend, let her be concerned for you and don't misconstrue it as a plot for the destruction of your happiness.

I'll admit that I don't always know best. In fact, you can even say I know nothing at all and most of what I say is the first instinct that comes to mind. But I am opinionated and I have a certain perception of the world. Fuck, you can't expect any more than that from someone who's working in the legal profession. Honesty is my best Friendship policy and to me, that is a measure of a real friend (and I don't even charge $300/hr for it). However, apparently an honest opinion is a retaliation to one's happiness, for some.

Inasmuch, I am beginning to believe that this honesty policy falls upon mostly of the male species, who will take whatever you say at face value and then throw a beer back with you. Do NOT misunderstand that what I have just said is a vendetta to make you miserable for life. Just when I think I am starting to relate to the female species, I am suddenly pulled back between the gender mind sets and I am a stranger of my own gender. The gloves come off and the mud starts slingin'.

So, I need to make this absolutely clear so as not to piss anymore people off or for them to look at me as some poor soul who cannot get a boyfriend (because apparently, it's pretty necessary to have one to have an opinion, even if you've been in the Vulnerable Position in love): if whatever I say seems harsh or hurtful, I am saying it for a reason, not for the sole purpose of putting you down. I'd like to believe that I follow that Jewish philosophy of raising a child: push with one hand, hold back with the other (I think that's how it goes). I will [usually] support choices a friend makes, but it is in my Friendship Policy to at least protect someone by throwing caution to the wind. I hate to say this, but it's like parenting. I sincerely hope that others follow this policy with me because I would not like to be led a strew believing smoke-and-mirrors just to keep me satisfied. Ideas need to be shared, thoughts should be heard and if you don't want to hear it, don't ask for it! Bottom line: don't ask me to lie to you because I really hate it (I am going to be a shitty lawyer).

P.S. I'm sorry for this cryptic entry. I hate cryptic stories, too, but I just don't have time explain (although I do have time to rant).

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