Women are notoriously insecure. Okay, scratch that. Most women are insecure. The rest are just bitches. Now that we've settled that, let's look at men.
Men have historically been seen as something of a figure of security, strength, blahblahblah. What a load of crap. I think guys are just as insecure as the next chick who is too self-conscious to eat alone at a restaurant.
A friend of mine currently has a dilemma and I shall put forth her dilemma to the public to possibly settle an argument (or spark one). She has started to date a new guy after coming out of a long-term relationship. Things are going well when the ex suddenly decides that he wants to change his mind. Now she is faced with the dilemma of figuring out what to do. Long story short, the real problem is: neither of them will want her to be friends with the other guy should she choose one.
"So you're stuck having to choose between two insecure guys?" I asked, over cheesecake and tea the other night.
"Well, I have to choose one."
"That's like having to choose between the lesser of two evils."
"Well, it's not like there are any secure guys left." she replied.
Hmm, an interesting point. However, it's an interesting point that I intend to prove wrong. I refuse to believe that there are no secure guys left. That is, a guy who is secure in himself that he can trust a woman to have male friends, both exes and platonic, and can go into a relationship knowing she is still friends with her ex and won't think twice about it.
I would hate to think that any friendship, whether it be with a girl or boy, would have to change once you get into a relationship. Why do things have to be moved over to make way for a new person in your life? When you buy a new pair of shoes to add to your over-sized collection, you don't throw an old pair away to make room. YOU GET MR. BIG TO BUILD YOU A BIGGER CLOSET!
An experiment was proposed, which led us to ask random guys at that very coffee shop the ultimate question: Would you date a girl who was still friends with her ex?
My hypothesis: Maybe 20% of guys are secure enough to date a girl who is still friends with her ex. The rest are just bitches.
The experiment didn't just end there. I later went bowling and asked a couple random guys there as well (Awesome way to meet new guys, y/n?). The verdict?
Out of the approximate 10 guys that night, like, 2 guys said yes. And one said maybe.
In conclusion, about 70% of guys are bitches.Of course, this was in no way a 'good' experiment carried out. The guys that were asked were picked at random (re: hot and hopefully single) and restricted to a coffee shop and bowling alley (social and 'athletic'). They probably had personal reasons for each of their answers. Some might have been scorned before and had bad experiences. The rest of the 'no' crew were probably insecure and think women are promiscuous polygamous sluts (not totally far from the truth...?).
So where are all the secure guys? This just made me realize it would be this much harder to find a guy who will not give me shit for having male friends or who won't insist on going out with me every time I want to go to a club.
Is it right to just settle then? Perhaps we could make light of this and welcome these 'flawed' people into our love lives. Over time, they could learn to be more secure with themselves through someone else (without being too dependent). After all, what's the harm in teaching one another? These guys have got to learn to be more secure with themselves from somewhere, and it can start with being with secure women who can show them the way.