I've been quite neglectful, I know, but rightfully so. I posted my last post a few minutes ago, even though it's dated over a month ago. I've had it sitting in my Drafts for awhile because I was still uploading all the picture from Konrad's party. I still haven't finished but I give up.
However, I haven't given up on life, so don't worry. I know the last post I uploaded over a month ago seemed a little daunting, emo and morbid but don't worry. I'm still breathing. Barely.
So what have I been doing in the past month that has prevented me from updating regularly? Well for one, I really needed to step back on 'reflecting' on my life and decided to just live it. This was me living it the past month:
- I went to Hawaii. I'm really, really, really glad I went, especially in the mood I've been in the past 6 months. I think I realized after 6 months of feeling like absolutely shit, put me in a situation in which I needed to get far, far away and really get away from everything to contemplate. I will go into more details about Hawaii in another long post, but needless to say, Hawaii has definitely changed me and for the better. It kinda put my life into perspective and it gave me time to enjoy and respect other things like beautiful Mother Nature than my own silly problems.
- As soon as I came back from Hawaii, a week later I went camping. I got some awful bug bites, and went back to hating Mother Nature. Briefly.
- Finally finished my first Creative Writing courses. Between work and my other recreational commitments, I had to find time to write my final articles for Arts Journalism, and attempt to complete my final writing assignment for Intro to Creative Writing. They weren't particularly long pieces that took up most of my time, it was more of the will to write and the Wrtier's Block I was experiencing for a month. Needless to say, I got it done. So much so that my book-in-progress was well-received by my class and that has given me motivation to keep writing.
- Went to Meg's cottage for a couple days, came back last night and danced for 6 hours.
So you see, I haven't really had time to sit and feel sorry for myself, which is probably why my mood and outlook have been a bit more optimistic lately. I've gotten my libido back and I think my self-esteem is getting a bit better. I've stopped wearing Chanel black nail polish and I've discovered a more peachy mood colour in Nars' Orgasm. I've discovered I have a liking to German emo music and electro-pop and that's my new mantra. I know I still have a loonnnng way to go but I just have to take it one step at a time.
So I thought I'd take this time to write this post and explain myself (to anyone who really cares). I've missed writing so I will try and keep doing it as much as I can, since lately I've found it hard to make time for anything, including breathe. I'm really grateful for the friends who have kept me busy. The talks, the drinks, the walks, the encouragement, the advice, the distraction. Secretly, you guys are helping with giving me the will to want to be me without even realizing it. Thank you.