Thursday, July 26, 2007

Whatchu know 'bout me? Whatchu know?

It's alright, it's alright. I'm alive. It's been awhile, yes, I know.

I keep meaning to talk about the weekend of Nam's birthday, but just everything has been pretty time-consuming (also Alex is being an ass about sending me pictures from that weekend). Work, domestic responsibilities at home, trying to remember the last time I saw my debit card, reminding myself to respond to the government regarding my taxes, barely scraping by with no cash and just 2 credit cards, trying to remember to book/keep lunch and dinner appointments... *sigh. I really need an assistant. Or maybe four or five. Oh, the things I could accomplish in a day! I tell you, I could probably be a better person overall. I could be more attentive as a friend, more diligent as a sister, more reliable as a daughter, more capable as a worker, more desirable as a single person. But alas, I am but one body, yet multiple people at once.

Lately, I've just been thinking about the type of person I say I am but it's merely the type of person I want to be. For example, I'm capable of telling people that I will always express how I really feel about someone, but I've yet to even admit anything to anyone (let alone to that person's face). I guess it's just so much easier to be my real self (that is, cowardice) and just to express how I feel through other means (like, um, oh, say through ESP? Or worse, acting like someone else completely).

Man, it sucks not being able to figure it all out.

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