Monday, April 07, 2008

Let it all out, any way that you can

I've failed to write lately. I'm not sure why, it's not like I've lacked anything to discuss. However, I figure there is no better time than now because I sincerely doubt I will be able to lift my arms tomorrow.

Tonight I took a kickboxing class with Konrad. I haven't done it in years, and I haven't done it as intensely as I did tonight. We barely got there in time, so we missed the stretching, which of course means I will be like a walking zombie tomorrow. We broke sweat 5 minutes into the training. It was tough but I survived and it felt kinda good. The downside to the whole thing is that everything stinks -- literally. The room, the gloves, and unfortunately, the hot guys. I spent 5 minutes in the bathroom scrubbing my hands of that horrid 'man sweat' smell I picked up from the used gloves. Time to buy my own pair.

I found that boxing is a great way to get rid of anger (duh) but it is a vastly different type of 'therapy' from yoga. In yoga, I just tried to let go of my stress and anger through breathing. In boxing, I let it out through my fists, through the gloves, through the punching bag...and probably straight to Konrad who was spotting me (he said I was best at kicking, which didn't surprise us since I've had lots of practice since elementary school :p).

I'm not sure which 'stress reliever' I prefer. I'm not a violent person (I swear, I'm not!) but I'm not a relaxed person either. I'd definitely continue to do both either way, since I haven't found that "middle" yet.

I can feel this is the beginning of my 'activeness' now that the warm weather is here. I'm starting hip hop classes soon and sooner or later, Sarah and I will eventually start up those yoga classes again.

I'm starting to feel anguished again, just when I thought I was feeling better. I guess this is due to work slowing down and me trying to go back to 'normal life' and having time to think and feel. It's not as easy I once convinced myself and others. I feel like this bad aura is just sticking to me like annoying lint, so I gotta do whatever I can to do away with it. I'm trying to get rid of it as feverishly and as quickly as possible. Breathing it out through yoga, losing myself through dance and music, punching and kicking until all those bad feelings are behind me. Can bad feelings be rid of through all this hard physical work? I think it's temporary, like a drug.

I wish there was some kinda 'emotional detox' I could do, but I guess this is the next best thing. I'm so sick of feeling like this.


Paul Kishimoto said...

Death is the only sure form of complete emotional detox, and it's generally agreed that suicide is in bad taste.

Also please don't start kicking people with pointed shoes again D:

Louise said...

"I'm so sick of feeling like this."

That's been my line for the last two months!!