Maybe this is what I've been waiting for...

Heartbreak. It's such a funny thing. We fear it, yet when we experience it, it's almost euphoric.

Don't get this confused with rejection. That's totally different. That is like a quick slap in the face and then you quickly dust yourself off and set yourself up for another one.

A broken heart is more like ... a numbing feeling that ironically feels quite painful. It's almost like a pinch on the arm punch in the face to remind you you're alive. It makes you realize you were feeling what you didn't think you were capable of feeling more than once. Or as long as you did.

By golly, it's been awhile. I almost missed it.

The Weekend Two-Step

Although I'm kind of annoyed that I didn't get anything done as I had planned (like go to the beach), I'm sort of glad it didn't work out. I really needed today to just chill and rest to recover from the week.

Friday was an insane day, work-wise, as it was the end of the week and month. A little real estate tip from me to you: don't choose a closing date that is a.) at the end of the month and b.) on a Friday. If something doesn't go as planned and you don't close, you'll subject your lawyer (and their clerks) to an insane amount of stress and you might just have to pay extra for it. Actually the week was a little insane as my boss was away for most of the week. But she made up for it when she surprised me with shoes and a dress from her Las Vegas trip.

Friday night was the usual Poker and then we watched the first of way-too-many-movies-watched this weekend. On Saturday morning, Mel and Kathy went to see Hairspray and The Simpsons in the morning (I know, don't ask) and Nam and I slept in and watched Alpha Dog at my house. The movie was surprisingly good, Justin Timberlake and all.

For the first time in like, 8 years, I dusted off (more like hosed down) my bike and went for a bike ride around the old 'hood. Well, I wouldn't call it "old", because it's currently still my 'hood. Riding my bike around just brought back some great memories and made me feel very grateful for the childhood I've had. My fondest memories are that of bike-riding aimlessly with friends after school and going home at sunset (where I would be greeted with my fretful mother who never really knew where I went because I didn't have a cell phone). And to think, I could've easily lost my childhood if I subjected myself to all those things that would forced me to grow up faster (like drugs and sex). I even went back to the park we used to hang out at and where everyone walks their dog, plays basketball or plays tennis. I even saw some childhood friends still playing there. That's what you get for living in a suburban area like mine: same faces, same stories, same ol', same ol'. Times like these, I just wish I could take off and be anonymous (for once!).

Last night Alex came over for the Lem's Italian Dinner Night for some veal and then we watched The Simpsons Movie. To be honest, I wasn't expecting much from the movie. However, everyone who had seen it before me agreed that it was quite good so I was allured into seeing it. To my dismay, it wasn't as fantastic as everyone had hyped it up to be. I guess I expected too much from a movie because I'm a hardcore Simpsons fan (I'm one of those classic Simpsons serialist). After watching The Simpsons, we came back to my house and watched some documentary with a German name about religion and government conspiracies. This, in turn, sparked a 4 am debate that turned into a "going to bed angry" situation. LOL. Worst movie time of movie to watch just before going to bed.

After 4.5 hours of sleep, I was rudely awakened at 10 am to go out for breakfast. Urgh. I really wanted to go the beach today, but it didn't turn out that way (thanks to certain people who disappear off the face of the earth out of nowhere!). I ended up just hanging out at my house being gluttonous and taking too many naps in the middle of the day. Right now I'm feeling really exhausted and I think Nam is coming over to watch yet another movie (oh godddd).

Sadly enough, this has been basically the same routine I've had for the past few weekends. Sleep, eat too much, watch movies, sleep, eat too much... This little 'weekend dance' is too much. I'm going to have to start being more creative and stay off my comfy mattress. I guess that's what happens when you exhaust all those weekend trips and activities (like football) at the beginning of the summer and then you run out of things to do by the middle of the summer. Oh, the end of the summer is gonna be bitchin'.

Earl and the Chipmunks

If they have ever have a live-action Carebears movie, that's just going to push me over the edge.

Whatchu know 'bout me? Whatchu know?

It's alright, it's alright. I'm alive. It's been awhile, yes, I know.

I keep meaning to talk about the weekend of Nam's birthday, but just everything has been pretty time-consuming (also Alex is being an ass about sending me pictures from that weekend). Work, domestic responsibilities at home, trying to remember the last time I saw my debit card, reminding myself to respond to the government regarding my taxes, barely scraping by with no cash and just 2 credit cards, trying to remember to book/keep lunch and dinner appointments... *sigh. I really need an assistant. Or maybe four or five. Oh, the things I could accomplish in a day! I tell you, I could probably be a better person overall. I could be more attentive as a friend, more diligent as a sister, more reliable as a daughter, more capable as a worker, more desirable as a single person. But alas, I am but one body, yet multiple people at once.

Lately, I've just been thinking about the type of person I say I am but it's merely the type of person I want to be. For example, I'm capable of telling people that I will always express how I really feel about someone, but I've yet to even admit anything to anyone (let alone to that person's face). I guess it's just so much easier to be my real self (that is, cowardice) and just to express how I feel through other means (like, um, oh, say through ESP? Or worse, acting like someone else completely).

Man, it sucks not being able to figure it all out.

Still Tippin'

It's Tuesday. I wish it was Friday. Why are there seven days in a week? Damn that Julien calendar system. Or whatever we use.

Last weekend was decent, I guess. Friday night, as I've mentioned before, I was in Waterloo playing Poker. Why? Dunno. But I did it. Probably won't do it again.

On Saturday, I did shit-all and then went downtown with the sibs for dinner. We went to some fancy schmancy French restaurant. I had the escargots and I think I paid for it the next day. However, the filet of sole was good and the creme caramel was decent. French food is aiiiiiiiight, but I guess it's one of those "acquired taste" types. I hope to go to more French restaurants so I can quickly acquire the taste that everyone goes ga-ga for. I really like the downtown nightlife, and not just the clubbing. Just eating al fresco on a breezy summer night is pretty awesome. I must do this more often.

I finally saw Transformers on Sunday with Cuong and our sibs. It really was as good as I had hoped, which is a surprise because I was half expecting a let-down (as I am so often). One thing I have to say about the movie though: it was more of a romance film ... between a man and his car. The chick is just the third wheel.

It's funny, I have all this time to do whatever I feel like doing and/or nothing, but I don't have time to do the stuff that I need to do, i.e. pay my Visa bill, go to the dentist, get my G license, submit stuff for scholarship.

Sucks to have responsibilities.

(Anyone know where I can find the new Mark Ronson album ... for download? Or hook a sister up?)