Camping, canoeing and bears! Oh my!

The temperature's rising, the days are getting longer and the birds and bees are trying to have sex with each other. Spring has arrived, and then so will summer! I can't wait for summer to begin. Even though I'll be doing my internship, I fully expect to make the absolute most of my summer. That includes more camping, more trips, more gallivanting outdoors. There's many things I need to do here in the city (like finally get my G license), but I am mostly looking forward to getting away.

This year, I think I will try my hand at portaging and camping. For anyone who doesn't know what that is, it's basically camping without a car, without a toilet, without anything. It's just you, the bears and raw nature. Basically we'll be canoeing 2-3 hours to our campsite, which to me sounds like quite the adventure. 2-3 hours on the water?! At first, this made me uneasy, but I realized I have to learn to get over 'fearing the worst'. I feel sorry for the person who ends up in the boat with me because my arms aren't exactly like Popeye's and I bitch.

I have a feeling this trip will be physically demanding for me, but I'm still looking forward to it! I can't wait to be out in the middle of the woods with no reminders of civilization. Except my walkman...and cell phone... maybe my portable DVD player... Which also brings me to the next problem with this trip: what to pack. For anyone who's ever gone travelling with me, especially camping, I DON'T TRAVEL LIGHT. Yes, clothes is mainly the issue here (sometimes even shoes!). I really don't know why I bring so much, wear only 2/3 of what I bring and end up taking home clean, unworn clothes. I'm gonna have to learn to travel light for this trip because we're not driving, we're hiking and canoeing. Which means we're carrying everything (ugh). Which pretty much means I'll live in my bathing suit the whole time we're there, just so I don't have to carry so much stuff! Bathing suit, sweater and pants is probably the only clothes I'll bring because I have other essentials I have to carry with me like alcohol and a toothbrush. I've decided I'll leave my huge tent at home, and I'll sleep in someone else's sleeping bag just to carry as little as possible! I found this useful checklist online and I'm starting to wonder why they didn't add 'kitchen sink'.

Ah well, I'll get over it. I just can't wait to be in the glory of nature and meet a bear or something. I sincerely hope I see a coyote (at least 100 metres away) or a moose! I'm not crazy, I don't want to be mauled by anything, I just like animals (which reminds me, I need to buy a jackknife. Y'know, just in case). Seeing a moose in its natural habitat is just not the same as seeing it lying on a highway, y'know?

Who doesn't love a game?

The Dating Game consists of many levels: The Hunt, The Bait and Hook 'em, The Mating Dance and Guesstimation. Guesstimation is the pinnacle point at which you are seeing someone and wonder if you're serious enough with the person to quit the Dating Game.

It's funny how some relationships work. For something as common and necessary for everyone, the rules of relationships are not universal. From what I've seen and from what I've experienced, most relationships begin with a LOT of mind games and guessing.

The problem is, noone is willing to talk and be honest at that point. They're afraid of what the other person is thinking and they're afraid that what they're thinking may not coincide with what the other person is thinking which would make the whole damn situation awkward. Why do you think there are so many women's magazines that seem to have the answers to decipher "What Men are Thinking" and "How to Let Him Know You Like Him Without Actually Saying It"?

I'm not saying that I'm the most outward person with enough self-confidence to say what I mean and mean what I say. In fact, you could me right up there with the people who do all the guessing and wondering (many friends can attest for this -_-). I'm willing to talk about my feelings to everyone else but the actual person, in fact. However, I do like to preach and live by the philosophy that honesty and communication is the key to avoiding the drama that comes with relationships.

Many problems arise from everyone having different perceptions on what an "exclusive relationship" and "casual dating" is. I've heard of odd ways of people hooking up and remaining in a serious relationship without so much as a word to each other about the matter. I don't know if I can speak for guys, but I personally know girls who will cling on to one sign a guy is interested in dating them as a key sign that they're officially in an exclusive relationship. I myself need a collection of signs plus a verbal agreement that we're exclusive. If there's none of that, I am free agent and noone has to know about the Others. Simple as that. See, I'm technical like that.

However, sometimes mind games and guessing are essential. The drama is what makes life interesting and worth learning more about. Not only do we eventually see the true side of a person, we learn when to avoid them when we 'see the signs'. The Dating Game is merely a means of a learning experience in the form of a game: your emotions are the game pieces that you risk jeopardizing on the board called Life. Sometimes you just don't get the numbers you hope to roll, and at times you may get kicked off the board. But the most important thing is that you go back to Start and try to make it to the End.

What goes around, comes around...and around?

So, amidst thinking of ways to quit my job or find a better one, Fate has somehow answered my question. It's ironic that earlier today that I was telling a friend that if I got fired, I wouldn't even blink because I'm fortunate enough to have a couple leads to better (and safer) places to work. So I go into work today...only to find out I was fired. Let's just say I was stunned. Not because I was surprised or anything, just that I was stunned that even though I saw it coming it came pretty fast.

Oh well, it's just as well. So while I was getting fired, there was a client in the office who heard everything (I think) because as I was waiting at the bus stop, she pulled up and handed me her business card.

"Did you just get fired as a receptionist?"

"Yeah, how did you know?"

"I was in the office at the time. Here's my card, my office is looking for a receptionist."

She handed me a pink card with a shoe on it.

"What kinda business is this?" I asked.

"I work in the adult entertainment industry."

Needless to say, I was stunned and touched that she was sweet enough to offer me a job after I had just been fired. Who said people in the adult entertainment industry were bad? They're just misunderstood. I thanked her and put her card in my pocket. Not that I'd consider taking the job, but just because it was an ironic experience. If I was desperate enough to just get any job, perhaps I would've given her a call (please, it's not like she asked me to play a receptionist in an adult film. She asked me to be a receptionist in an office that happens to do that kinda stuff), but right now I just need a job in the legal field.

So anyhoo, I don't really feel anything about this whole experience. In a way, everything bad turned out fine. I wanna thank everyone who consoled me and pointed out that this was probably a blessing in disguise. I was looking to quit, mainly because I really did not like working by myself at night in a ghetto neighbourhood (someone got shot a couple days ago near there!) and I also hated talking to clients of the office. Especially the types of clients that office received: poor people. My job was to ask for payment and honestly, when you talk to poor people about money it is suddenly a touchy topic and they get all hostile. I now understand what Biggie meant when he said he didn't understand people with "short money". Amen.

This probably couldn't have come at a better time anyway. I have three more weeks of school left and I should really be focusing on finishing third year (!) instead of worrying about whether I'd be robbed and attacked each night.

So in a way, I guess you could say there may have been a cosmic force behind this whole experience. And I did learn something from this, as I do with all 'experiences': be careful what you wish for because you just might get it.

Well we've gotta start somewhere...right?

Today, I had hours to kill before I had to start work at 4, so I finally hauled my ass (with the push and nudge of Sarah!) to the gym. First time ever, peeps! We intended to drop in for the pilates class (cancelled) but ended up at the treadmills. You know how people usually jog on a treadmill? Well I used the treadmill a la me: walking. Not even one of those 'brisk' walks, where you break a sweat. I was just striding on the treadmill, not to mention doing it the lazy way by leaning over the handrail. Move over, Homer Simpson. I'm the new Lazy Boy Girl in town. Ha. It gave me some time to people-watch at the gym. Mostly students, of course (school gym), and it surprised me how many active people there were. I truly wasn't expecting that. I thought most people were lazy asses like me.

"How do you stay so thin, Lil?"

"Public transportation, watching Sex and the City religiously and a daily dose of Oreos."

Most of the people there seemed to know what they were doing and I kinda now see why people say the gym is a good place to meet guys. All those guys huddled at the weights, all congregating by comparing their bulging... arms. Of course this is a good place for guys to hit on girls: after pumping 80 lbs, they've gained 80 lbs of confidence!

Sample Sales of note:

DC Sample Sale (they're now guaranteeing everything is authentic or "double your money back")

Seven for All Mankind, JoeJeans, Juicy, Citizens

Mar 30- Apr 1

332 Richmond St.

Down and Out

So the strike's finally over. Normally there'd be a big sigh of relief but ironically everyone's wishing they had one more week of strike to catch up on the homework we should've been doing in the past three weeks. To top it off, apparently they're not going to extend the school semester so everything's being squished. On the upside, already some of my profs have thrown out some of the readings and assignments we would've been doing.

Makes no real difference to me, I suppose. Either way, I'm going to be busy busy busy. Gonna have to juggle this new job (Mon-Thurs 4-8:30 and Saturday! *sob*) and school (5 more weeks of the semester is left!). It's gonna be hellish for me, especially this week.

I've already started off on a bad workday. I don't think I've ever felt more stupid than I did today. I was constantly advised on everything I was doing wrong and I wouldn't be surprised if there were many eye-rollings because of me making foolish mistakes. I don't mind the corrections, but I don't think I've received any compliments or encouragements (as shallow as that sounds, but I really need to know if I'm doing things right!) and it's making me question whether I'm doing anything right. I've never felt so bad about myself, I swear. After I finished the day, I just spent the whole train and bus ride home thinking about what a screw-up I am (it didn't help that my walkman batteries were dead so all I had were my thoughts).

I know I've only been there for a week, but for someone who's been there a week I should have everything down pat. At least that's what it seems like compared with the other girls who work there. They're more diligent, more intelligent, more organized, more competent. I feel soo retarded next to them and I'm sure they're not very happy with me not 'catching on' as quickly as they did because I'm probably slowing them down (and they've only been there for two months!). Basically I'm not feeling very good about myself. I'm especially not feeling so great about this job, although I really want to keep it because I want the experience and I need this job for my internship this summer. I have a fear that I will get fired within a month and that's just gonna make me wanna consider a career change and taking up smoking. *sigh.

Anyone else got any "bad training experiences" as a new employee? I could really use the stories.